Filtered Lives and Filtered Faces

unfiltered image of woman
This is me, unfiltered

Do we filter the stories of our lives like we filter our faces? Smoothing out words over wounds so the lines of hurt don’t show? Never addressing the bumps on our road, the twists and turns that have made us who we are? 

Are we ashamed that our lives are not as perfect as the millions of others seem to be? Or do we think that the world can not process our truths if we admit them out loud? Maybe we’ve discounted our own healing in an attempt to pacify those around us and keep the calm?

What happens when the filter slips, our exhausted selves suddenly exposed? What happens when the truth bursts through years of carefully constructed hedges meant to protect us? What happens when the stench surrounds us from underneath the carpet where the wounds have been swept?

Whatever the motive for our silence and side-stepping, will it have been worth maintaining the image? What toll will we pay for these filters on our lives?

Writing my story with vulnerability and authenticity has been a lifeline for me. As a single mom, I found connection and meaning when I was able to lay myself bare, nervously hit post, and then start to hear the echoing voices come back to me. There are few things more healing than when another human says, “Thank you! I thought I was the only one sitting in that lonely feeling!” or, “Me too!” I want people to see the real me, to know the real story. Like Brandi Carlile says, “All of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am…” My real story, like yours, is not one note of success and happiness. The story is in the ups and downs, the decisions amidst the challenges and the grace and clumsiness that comes with living.

It’s been a while.

I am in new chapters and have shared mostly the highlight reels. I took a step back in order to gain a sense of control over what I should and shouldn’t be sharing as my child got older and as a new partner entered my world. And, although I do not regret the caution I felt, I am beginning to feel stagnant and stifled. I need to find my voice again.

So, if you’ve been around a while and think you know me…here are 10 things you maybe don’t know.

-My name is Misty Dawn King and I am 46 years old. I often get asked if Misty is my real name and yes, it is not my “stage” name.

-I am a social media consultant and I recently started a part-time job as a Customer Service Agent for WestJet.

-I am a mother to an almost 12-year-old boy. Parenting mostly feels like one failure after another at this time of my story.

-I am finally legally divorced after almost 9 years of separation. Max’s dad and I are pretty good at co-parenting and we are pretty good friends who fight way less than we did when we were married.

-I have been in a relationship with my partner for 2.5 years. (Most of our relationship has been during COVID and we are still in love!)

-I thought I knew what the challenges of a blended family were going to bring and it is nothing like anything I thought. There are moments that I am so grateful for how surprisingly beautiful it is and there are moments when I wish I knew what I had signed up for before I got involved. Pretty sure Nathan feels the same way. LOL
-I have many domain names registered with GoDaddy, business ideas written on scrap pieces of paper all over, and big dreams of financial independence that still elude me probably due to procrastination and self-sabotage.

-I’m pretty sure I have ADHD.

-I am a preacher’s daughter and was raised Pentecostal. I’ve had some questions in the DMs about this and while I am mostly an open book, this is one of those areas I haven’t learned to talk about yet.

-I am a 2 on the Enneagram, still unsure about my wing.

This is me, unfiltered and this is Life Where We Are.

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